


Aaron Burr, Sir

by TellMyLegacy



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Regret, Ten Things You Need To Know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 13:14:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7106287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TellMyLegacy/pseuds/TellMyLegacy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron Burr knew that the moment he fired the pistol his life would be ruined. As the bullet flew towards Alexander, his friend, his enemy, he simply knew that nothing would ever be the same.</p>
<p>Indeed, he was right.</p>
<p>There are ten things you need to know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aaron Burr, Sir

Aaron Burr knew that the moment he fired the gun, his life would be never be the same. As the bullet flew towards Alexander, his friend, his enemy, he simply knew that nothing would ever be the same.

Indeed, he was right.

There are ten things you need to know.

 

* * *

 

 

1\. He was too selfish.

The moment he went back to the city, he immediately flew towards the nearest bar. He got a drink.

He was losing himself in the alcohol, he was in too deep that he didn’t notice the hot tears rolling down his cheeks. His mind was blurry, but Alexander’s eyes were clearer than never.

His eyes. They were scared. Alexander had been scared, and that didn’t stop Aaron from aiming his pistol at Hamilton’s chest. He had been too late. “WAIT!” He fired first, he didn’t stop to see that Alexander was aiming at the sky.

Alexander Hamilton was always aiming at the sky.

But now, he sits alone in a bar, drowning in his guilt and misery. He hears wailing in the streets, but he keeps drinking, and he doesn't stop until someone whispers in his ear. “They know. You better hide.”

The words pass through his head, but he knew that he had to do something first.

He walked outside the bar, tripping as the alcohol consumed his control. His movements were slurred, but he kept walking. Walking uptown, walking, walking. Then he arrived.

He knocked on the Hamilton's door.

He waited. He waited.

But he was a coward.

He fled.

 

* * *

 

 

2\. He escaped.

Aaron caught the next ship towards South Carolina. He sought refuge in his daughter, his dear Theodosia.

Sweet Theodosia, she protected her father as best as she could. She provided him a roof, food, comfort. She looked at him the same way as before he became a murderer.

But he was a coward.

He couldn’t stand the way his daughter’s eyes shone with love, care. He didn’t deserve her love, he was nothing more than a sinner.

So he moved to Philadelphia, where he tried to regain courage. Then, he moved to Washington. He was still Vice-President, he still needed to complete his term.

In Washington, his life only went downhill. Jefferson accused him of treason; he was accused of murder in both, New York and New Jersey. The public insulted him, spit on him, killed him little by little.

He finished his term, and fled over the oceans to Europe. In England, he tried to start a new life.

But that night always haunts his dreams. He hears the gunshot whenever he listens to the nature around him. As he lies in bed, it is not the soft candlelight he sees, instead, his mind is plagued by the fire in Alexander’s eyes slowly dying, the flame going out along with Alexander’s life.

During the day, however, Aaron tried to begin something new, and he was doing well. He started gaining money, gaining influential friends. Slowly, his life seemed to have a sparked once again.

That is, until he came across Angelica Schuyler.

 

* * *

 

 

3\. He destroyed others. And he destroyed himself.

It was a beautiful winter day in the private suburbs of London. Aaron had been strolling through the quiet, peaceful road, gazing at the flowers blossoming from the earth. He was admiring the rosy petals on a beautiful button, letting his fingers linger on the silky folds of the rose before he heard a familiar voice.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Angelica Schuyler stood steps behind Aaron Burr, the man that killed her sister’s husband. The man that killed her “what if.”

She had changed magnificently since the last time Aaron spoke to her. Though her confident posture remain, her once stoic eyes were now vulnerable. Her hair was entwined with grey, and her voice was laced with a tiredness he knew all too well. Tired of losing those close to her heart.

“Angelica,” he whispered as he watched her stand next to him, her eyes never once leaving the alluring rose, “I’m so-“

“Don’t.” She said, taking in a ragged breath. “Just, don’t.”

He nodded, but she never once took her eyes off the flower. Aaron stood there, uncomfortably shifting from foot to foot, not knowing what to say. He then placed his hand on her shoulder, and when she didn’t react, he spoke once again.

“I know that nothing I say will ever change wha-"

Angelica cut him off with her steady voice, “Burr, I just hope you know that you destroyed Eliza, you destroyed their children, and you destroyed me. We were both at his side as he died, and you want to know what he said? He told us that he forgave you. He forgave you. It’s been ten years, and I still can’t forget the way his eyes lost their flame. You destroyed us, Aaron Burr. You destroyed us, and I hope you’re happy for the rest of your life.”

With that, Angelica left Aaron, whose wounds have now been reopened. Tears leaked freely from his eyes as he watched her fading figure, brokenly uttering a simple pair of words that will never be heard by anyone but the nature surrounding him.

“I know.”

Months later, Aaron Burr would learn that Angelica Schuyler passed away, holding her sister’s hand.

 

* * *

 

 

4\. He tries to find a new home.

He cannot stay in London. He sees Angelica’s broken eyes whenever he sees a single flower. He feels Alexander’s presence whenever he touches a quill. He is surrounded by the painful memories of that fatal night, and he cannot stay anymore.

So he moves to France. He tries to find a new job, he tries to begin a new life. It’s useless. He cannot escape.

He then travels to Scotland, Denmark, Germany, Sweden. He moves from country to country, from life to life. He tries to fit in somewhere, anywhere.

He just wants a home.

He returns to the Unites States, changing his surname to “Edwards,” his mother’s maiden name. Aaron continues to practice law, and he starts to fit in. Then, he makes a decision he will never regret. He adopts two boys, his two sons. Aaron Burr Columbe and Charles Burdett.

They are a miracle to his dull life. They bring joy to his existence, a new purpose.

Everything is looking up. Every day, instead of hesitating to wake up, he jumps out of bed to wake up his sons.

Things are starting to look up.

But of course, everything goes downhill when he receives a letter one day.

There are moments that the words don’t reach. There is a suffering too terrible to name. And Aaron Burr just lost his dear Theodosia, his precious daughter.

She was traveling by sea, the letter had said, and the ship disappeared. There are no signs of life to this day.

He remembers his daughter’s eyes, her mellow voice, her beautiful smile. And all he can do is sob at the peak of midnight, trying with all his might to not make a sound as to not wake his sons, but it's pointless. He grieves over her death by destroying himself, by obliterating his mind.

Then he remembers his two sons lying asleep under the pale moonlight, and so he wipes his tears and puts on a tired smile.

But she’s gone, and Aaron is left to carry another death in his soul.

 

* * *

 

 

5\. He thinks.

Many historians believe that Aaron Burr’s life was calm for the rest of his time in the world. They were wrong.

Aaron embraces his darling children as close as he can, but he knows and he sees it every day- his sons are growing up.

It wasn’t until two years later, when Charles is 14 years old, that he expresses his thoughts to his adoptive father.

“Father,” He starts, twisting his hands in front of his stomach, “I was wondering if you would let me pursue a new educative path.”

Aaron looked up from his classic paperback, and smiled passively at his son. “What were you thinking about, Charles?”

“You see,” Charles bit his lip in nervousness, and Aaron smiled in encouragement, “I was thinking about traveling to England, perhaps London.”

Aaron frowned, and his son started stuttering. “My school is offering the wonderful opportunity to study abroad for the remaining of autumn, and the education will be far more intense and challenging.”

Charles waited for his father’s response, and then Aaron sighed. “I was just like you when I was younger, head full of fantasies of becoming the aristocrat, of rising to the top.” Aaron then embraced Charles tightly, who responded by wrapping his limbs around his adoptive father. “I won’t stop you, my son. Do what calms your spirit. I’ll support you in any way I can.”

The bright grin that Charles sent to his father was more than enough to convince Aaron that he had done the right thing. “Thank you, father! I swear upon my life that I will make you proud.”

“You’ve already made me proud, son.”

And so Charles Burdett Burr travels to England to pursue a better education.

_At least I still have young Aaron,_ he thinks as he watches his younger adoptive son sleep soundly.

Or at least, that’s what he thinks.

 

* * *

 

 

6\. His wounds are reopened.

It was a silent November night when it happened.

He was reading by the candlelight next to his bed, thumbing the rough pages of parchment in between his fingers as he flipped the pages. He was engrossed in his reading that he did not see his 6 year old son, Aaron, standing by the doorway.

“Pa?” His son’s voice shook Aaron out of his concentration. Aaron looked up towards his son, then immediately leaped out of bed when he saw the blood pouring out of his son’s mouth.

“Aaron,” he said, placing his son delicately on his own bed, “what happened?”

“Pa,” the young 6 year old coughed furiously, and more blood leaked out of his mouth, collecting on his chin, dripping to his night robes. “My chest hurts.”

You see, young Aaron had been feeling chest pains every day for time now. However, young Aaron was selfless, and when he saw his pa staring vacantly at the sky, he never had the courage to express his own pain to his father.

Aaron grabbed the glass of water by his night stand, gingerly pressing the cold glass to his son’s lips. However, young Aaron only started coughing more violently, earthquakes passing through his body.

“Pa,” His son tried to speak, but his chest only heaved harder.

“Don’t,” Aaron whispered, pulling his son close to his chest. “Please, save your strength. We’re going for help, alright?”

His son nodded, and Aaron grabbed a blanket from the bed, covering his son as much as he could. Aaron picked up his son, and was out the door in the mere span of seconds.

The chilly November air made shudders pass through both, father and son, as they tried to keep their strength.

Aaron then noticed his son’s eyes starting to shut, and he immediately cried out. “No, my son, please don’t close your eyes. Stay awake, please.”

“Pa,” the six year old mumbled to his father, “I’m so tired.”

“I know, I know.” Aaron broke down with a sob, “Please, my son. Please.”

But young Aaron Burr Columbe was tired, and one last breath left his lips before he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

And all Aaron Burr could do was scream in agony as death took someone he loved, one more time.

 

* * *

 

 

7\. He visits the narrator of the story.

He understands now.

He has always understood the pain of losing someone dear to him. He lost his parents at a young age. He lost Theodosia, his love. He lost his daughter, his son. He’s lost so much, he now understands Alexander’s pain.

He understands now.

And so he moves to his old childhood home, but now he’s alone.

It’s quiet uptown.

He lays awake at night, numb. Flashes of those he lost cross through his eyes, but it’s useless now. He’s just become a man with no more feelings, no more sorrows, just memories of war.

He feels like his time is coming, but he knows that he has to do something before he leaves the world.

He pays a visit to the Hamilton residence one last time.

As he walks through the familiar sidewalk, he recalls his younger days. With the ghost of a smile, he remembers the excitement of Alexander when he meets a new orphan.

_“Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?”_

He shakes his head as he notices he’s already in front of the house, and inhales the cool air, before walking up the front steps.

The door in itself was a normal, wooden door, but to Aaron, it loomed with shadows and scars as it tries to intimidate him. This is the same door he stood in front of 20 years ago.

He knocks.

And he waits. And he waits. And he doesn’t run away.

He’s not a coward anymore.

The door opens, and standing in front of him is the widow of the man he killed. Eliza Hamilton Schuyler.

Her eyes widen for a second before she purses her lips. He notices that she is holding tightly the doorknob, and he decides to take the first step.

“Mrs. Ha-Schuyler, I just came here to-” he stopped himself. Why had he come? To apologize for murdering her husband? To show pity? To expect forgiveness?

“Mr. Burr,” Eliza sighs, and Aaron sees her hesitation before she moves aside, “would you like to come in? I can boil down some tea, and we can sit down to talk.”

Aaron looked downward, and nervously said, “I don’t want to be an intruder-”

Eliza smiled tightly, “none of that, Mr. Burr. Please, come in.”

And so the pair walked inside the house, and Aaron almost wanted to cry. The house was exactly the same as before. Papers were scattered over the tables, the windows were opened, and there was a slow beating in the house.

He almost imagined Alexander running down the stairs to greet his first friend, his enemy…

“This way, Mr. Burr.”

“Please, call me Aaron.”

Eliza nodded as she started boiling water for the tea. Aaron took that as a sign to sit down in one of the wooden chairs from the dining table.

The pair did not speak. The air was thick with tension.

Finally, Eliza spoke again. “Mr. Burr, why did you come here, after all these years?”

“I just wanted to,” Aaron looked straight into Eliza’s dark eyes. “I just wanted to apologize.”

She sighed tiredly, “For killing Alexander or ruining our family?”Aaron flinched, but Eliza started speaking again. “I am terribly sorry, that was inappropriate and unjust.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” he told her, accepting the cup of tea with gratitude in his eyes. “I’m the one who came here to say how terribly sorry I am for everything. I caused a great deal of pain in your life, and your children’s life. But now, I have paid for the sins I’ve committed. I came here to cleanse my soul before leaving this world.”

“Thank you for the apology, Mr. Burr.” She told him, an honest smile playing on her face. “But what do you mean before you leave the world?”

“I’m afraid I feel like my time is nearing.” He told him, taking a sip from his cup. “I’ve been too tired lately, and my dreams have been longer and longer.”

Eliza lowered her eyes downward, nodding her head. “I am terribly sorry for your hardships, Mr. Burr. I hope you find eternal peace in your next adventure.”

Aaron nodded, smiling laboriously. He took Eliza’s hand in his, squeezed slowly, trying to convey all his gratitude at her compassionate attitude towards him, and dropped her palm. He stood up from the table, “I’m afraid I must leave now. The night approaches, and I must make my way back home.”

“Of course, Mr. Burr.” Eliza accompanied him to the front door, where he departed after a saying a farewell. “Goodbye.”

He started walking down the sidewalk, when he heard Eliza’s silvery voice. “Mr. Burr?” When she got his attention, she smiled, and said, “He forgave you. And so did we.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat, and smiled.

And so he walked towards his own home, a small smile gracing his features as he walked with a newly found freedom.

Forgiveness. Can you imagine?

 

* * *

 

 

8\. He visits the place where it all ended. Where it all began.

He marries again. This time, it wasn't for love, or for a family. He wanted wealth. She wanted a husband.

Eliza Jumel was her name, and she was the wealthiest woman in America.

The marriage was a disaster, to put it mildly. He was 77 at the time, and he just wanted peace.

Weeks after their wedding, Aaron realizes one last thing. He hasn't visited one last person.

Weehawken, New Jersey. The place where it all ended, where it all started.

He goes alone at dawn. He feels like it's July 11, 1804 all over again.

The ride across the Hudson, the walk towards the hill, trying to gain courage.

Aaron takes position. He stands weaponless on the same spot his friend, Alexander, stood that fateful night.

Then he looks up.

The sun is shining in his eyes now, and he has to squint his eyes. There's a tree dancing gently to the melody of the wind exactly in front of him, and that's when he notices it.

There is a broken twig hanging loosely from the trunk of the tree. He falls to his knees. And he cries.

 

He was talking with his old friend, William P. Van Ness, when he said what was intruding his mind.

“Had I read Sterne more and Voltaire less, I should have known the world was wide enough for Hamilton and me."

William only smiled bitterly at the memories, and patted Aaron on the shoulder.

“I know, my friend.” He said, taking a swing of his whiskey, “I know.”

 

* * *

 

 

9\. He finds peace.

1834\. Aaron had a stroke. He was bedridden for the rest of his time, immobile.

Charles visited him from time to time, and those short visits are what gave him strength to keep on waking up.

However, he just feels so tired. He just wants to fall asleep and never wake up…

His second wife orders a divorce, and he grants it. She was still young, she didn't need someone like him to hold her down.

It was during the evening in 1836 when his friend, Reverend P.J. Van Pelt, paid him a visit.

Through his life, Aaron had never been a religious man. He just couldn't believe in a greater deity that was just and merciful. After losing his family, he couldn't imagine there being a savior.

And because of this, the Reverend came to try to persuade him to state the existence of a God.

“Aaron,” the Reverend sighed, “our existence is more than enough proof to show a greater, more divine figure. Why are you so keen to not believe?”

"I do believe. However," Aaron Burr smiled faintly, and whispered, “on that subject, I am coy.”

And the smile remained on his face as life left his body, and death took one last person.

 

* * *

 

 

10\. He finds forgiveness.

In the eye of a hurricane there is quiet. Aaron learned that early in his life.

From the quietness that followed his parents death, to the quiet of his children dying, he was sick of the quiet.

As he laid on his deathbed, he caught a glimpse of the other side. Theodosia is on the other side, she’s holding his daughter on the other side. His son, his parents are on the other side.

Alexander is on the other side.

Teach him how to say goodbye.

In the eye of the hurricane, there is quiet. And Aaron is ready to move on.

But for now, he is willing to wait for the moment to come.

It's only a matter of time.

And the time does come. And he smiles as his eyes become glassy. He smiles as he rises to embrace those he lost. He smiles as he cries, holding tightly those who left him, those whom he loved, and those who he hurt. Aaron Burr just smiles, and never utters a single word.

Because sometimes it’s better to talk less, and smile more.

**Author's Note:**

> Are you crying?
> 
> I want to clarify a few things about the story. First of all, there are many historical errors in the story. I mainly took some facts and then molded them into this fictional piece. There are many things that are true, such as how Aaron adopted two boys. However, I made up many things (there are no records of Aaron seeing Angelica or Eliza after Alexander's death.) Also, in this one shot Aaron is very regretful of what he did. In real life though, Aaron didn't express guilt until much later in his life.
> 
> Thank you for reading!! Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated! :)
> 
> Inspired by Lin Manuel Miranda's Broadway Musical "Hamilton"
> 
> (NOT REVISED!!)


End file.
